Ancient Greek

Greek distinguishes several different senses in which the word "love" is used. For example, Ancient Greek has the words philia, eros, agape, storge, and xenia. However, with Greek (as with many other languages), it has been historically difficult to separate the meanings of these words totally. At the same time, the Ancient Greek text of the Bible has examples of the verb agapo having the same meaning as phileo.

Agape (ἀγάπη agápē) means love in modern-day Greek. The term s'agapo means I love you in Greek. The word agapo is the verb I love. It generally refers to a "pure," ideal type of love, rather than the physical attraction suggested by eros. However, there are some examples of agape used to mean the same as eros. It has also been translated as "love of the soul."

Eros (ἔρως érōs) is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing. The Greek word erota means in love. Plato refined his own definition. Although eros is initially felt for a person, with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of the beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself. Eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty and contributes to an understanding of spiritual truth. Lovers and philosophers are all inspired to seek truth by eros. Some translations list it as "love of the body."

Philia (φιλία philía), a dispassionate virtuous love, was a concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community, and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. Philia is motivated by practical reasons; one or both of the parties benefit from the relationship. It can also mean "love of the mind."

Storge (στοργή storgē) is natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring.

Xenia (ξενία xenía), hospitality, was an extremely important practice in Ancient Greece. It was an almost ritualized friendship formed between a host and his guest, who could previously have been strangers. The host fed and provided quarters for the guest, who was expected to repay only with gratitude. The importance of this can be seen throughout Greek mythology—in particular, Homer's Iliad and Odyssey.

Cultural Views

Japanese

In Japanese Buddhism, ai (愛) is passionate caring love, and a fundamental desire. It can develop towards either selfishness or selflessness and enlightenment.

Amae (甘え), a Japanese word meaning "indulgent dependence," is part of the child-rearing culture of Japan. Japanese mothers are expected to hug and indulge their children, and children are expected to reward their mothers by clinging and serving. Some sociologists have suggested that Japanese social interactions in later life are modeled on the mother-child amae.

Cultural Views

Chinese and other Sinic cultures

The traditional Chinese character for love (愛) consists of a heart (middle) inside of "accept," "feel," or "perceive," which shows a graceful emotion.

In contemporary Chinese language and culture, several terms or root words are used for the concept of love:

  • It was the Qing‘s emperor first word of name.
  • Ai (愛) is used as a verb (e.g., Wo ai ni, "I love you") or as a noun, especially in aiqing (愛情), "love" or "romance." In mainland China since 1949, airen (愛人, originally "lover," or more literally, "love person") is the dominant word for "spouse" (with separate terms for "wife" and "husband" originally being de-emphasized); the word once had a negative connotation, which it retains among many in Taiwan.
  • Lian (戀) is not generally used alone, but instead as part of such terms as "being in love" (談戀愛, tan lian'ai—also containing ai), "lover" (戀人, lianren) or "homosexuality" (同性戀, tongxinglian).
  • Qing (情), commonly meaning "feeling" or "emotion," often indicates "love" in several terms. It is contained in the word aiqing (愛情); qingren (情人) is a term for "lover."

In Confucianism, lian is a virtuous benevolent love. Lian should be pursued by all human beings, and reflects a moral life. The Chinese philosopher Mozi developed the concept of ai (愛) in reaction to Confucian lian. Ai, in Mohism, is universal love towards all beings, not just towards friends or family, without regard to reciprocation. Extravagance and offensive war are inimical to ai. Although Mozi's thought was influential, the Confucian lian is how most Chinese conceive of love.

Gănqíng (感情) is the "feeling" of a relationship, vaguely similar to empathy. A person will express love by building good gănqíng, accomplished through helping or working for another and emotional attachment toward another person or anything.

Yuanfen (緣份) is a connection of bound destinies. A meaningful relationship is often conceived of as dependent strong yuanfen. It is very similar to serendipity. A similar conceptualization in English is, "They were made for each other," "fate," or "destiny."

Zaolian (Simplified: 早恋, Traditional: 早戀, pinyin: zǎoliàn), literally "early love," is a contemporary term in frequent use for romantic feelings or attachments among children or adolescents. Zaolian describes both relationships among a teenage boyfriend and girlfriend as well as the "crushes" of early adolescence or childhood. The concept essentially indicates a prevalent belief in contemporary Chinese culture, which is that, due to the demands of their studies (especially true in the highly competitive educational system of China), youth should not form romantic attachments lest their jeopardize their chances for success in the future. Reports have appeared in Chinese newspapers and other media detailing the prevalence of the phenomenon and its perceived dangers to students and the fears of parents.

Cultural Views

Persian

Even after all this time
The sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a Love like that!
It lights the whole Sky. (Hafiz)

Rumi, Hafez and Sa'di are icons of the passion and love that the Persian culture and language present. The Persian word for love is eshgh, deriving from the Arabic ishq. In the Persian culture, everything is encompassed by love and all is for love, starting from loving friends and family, husbands and wives, and eventually reaching the divine love that is the ultimate goal in life. Over seven centuries ago, Sa'di wrote:

The children of Adam are limbs of one body
Having been created of one essence.
When the calamity of time afflicts one limb
The other limbs cannot remain at rest.
If you have no sympathy for the troubles of others
You are not worthy to be called by the name of "man."

Comparison of scientific models

Biological models of love tend to see it as a mammalian drive, similar to hunger or thirst;[citation needed] psychology sees love as more of a social and cultural phenomenon. There are probably elements of truth in both views. Certainly love is influenced by hormones (such as oxytocin), neurotrophins (such as NGF), and pheromones, and how people think and behave in love is influenced by their conceptions of love. The conventional view in biology is that there are two major drives in love: sexual attraction and attachment. Attachment between adults is presumed to work on the same principles that lead an infant to become attached to its mother. The traditional psychological view sees love as being a combination of companionate love and passionate love. Passionate love is intense longing, and is often accompanied by physiological arousal (shortness of breath, rapid heart rate); companionate love is affection and a feeling of intimacy not accompanied by physiological arousal.

Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Love creates activity in the same area of the brain that hunger, thirst, and drug cravings create activity in. New love, therefore, could possibly be more physical than emotional. Over time, this reaction to love mellows, and different areas of the brain are activated, primarily ones involving long-term commitments. Dr. Andrew Newberg, a neuroscientist, suggests that this reaction to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out.

Psychological basis

Further information: Human bonding

Psychology depicts love as a cognitive and social phenomenon. Psychologist Robert Sternberg formulated a triangular theory of love and argued that love has three different components: intimacy, commitment, and passion. Intimacy is a form in which two people share confidences and various details of their personal lives, and is usually shown in friendships and romantic love affairs. Commitment, on the other hand, is the expectation that the relationship is permanent. The last and most common form of love is sexual attraction and passion. Passionate love is shown in infatuation as well as romantic love. All forms of love are viewed as varying combinations of these three components. American psychologist Zick Rubin seeks to define love by psychometrics. His work states that three factors constitute love: attachment, caring, and intimacy.[10][11]

Following developments in electrical theories such as Coulomb's law, which showed that positive and negative charges attract, analogs in human life were developed, such as "opposites attract." Over the last century, research on the nature of human mating has generally found this not to be true when it comes to character and personality—people tend to like people similar to themselves. However, in a few unusual and specific domains, such as immune systems, it seems that humans prefer others who are unlike themselves (e.g., with an orthogonal immune system), since this will lead to a baby that has the best of both worlds.[12] In recent years, various human bonding theories have been developed, described in terms of attachments, ties, bonds, and affinities.

Some Western authorities disaggregate into two main components, the altruistic and the narcissistic. This view is represented in the works of Scott Peck, whose work in the field of applied psychology explored the definitions of love and evil. Peck maintains that love is a combination of the "concern for the spiritual growth of another," and simple narcissism.[13] In combination, love is an activity, not simply a feeling.

Chemical basis

Chemical basis

Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, much like hunger or thirst.[7] Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust exposes people to others; romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating; and attachment involves tolerating the spouse long enough to rear a child into infancy.
Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. Recent studies in neuroscience have indicated that as people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure center and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. Research has indicated that this stage generally lasts from one and a half to three years.[8]
Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.[8] In 2005, Italian scientists at Pavia University found that a protein molecule known as the nerve growth factor (NGF) has high levels when people first fall in love, but these return to previous levels after one year. Specifically, four neurotrophin levels (NGF, BDNF, NT-3, and NT-4) of 58 subjects who had recently fallen in love were compared with levels in a control group who were either single or already engaged in a long-term relationship. The results showed that NGF levels were significantly higher in the subjects in love than as compared to either of the control groups.[9]

Interpersonal love

Grandmother and grandchild, Sri Lanka.

Interpersonal love refers to love between human beings. It is a more potent sentiment than a simple liking for another. Unrequited love refers to those feelings of love that are not reciprocated. Interpersonal love is most closely associated with interpersonal relationships. Such love might exist between family members, friends, and couples. There are also a number of psychological disorders related to love, such as erotomania.

Throughout history, philosophy and religion have done the most speculation on the phenomenon of love. In the last century, the science of psychology has written a great deal on the subject. In recent years, the sciences of evolutionary psychology, evolutionary biology, anthropology, neuroscience, and biology have added to the understanding of the nature and function of love.

Definitions

Two hands forming the outline of a heart shape.

The English word "love" can have a variety of related but distinct meanings in different contexts. Often, other languages use multiple words to express some of the different concepts that English relies mainly on "love" to encapsulate; one example is the plurality of Greek words for "love." Cultural differences in conceptualizing love thus make it doubly difficult to establish any universal definition.[4]

Although the nature or essence of love is a subject of frequent debate, different aspects of the word can be clarified by determining what isn't love. As a general expression of positive sentiment (a stronger form of like), love is commonly contrasted with hate (or neutral apathy); as a less sexual and more emotionally intimate form of romantic attachment, love is commonly contrasted with lust; and as an interpersonal relationship with romantic overtones, love is commonly contrasted with friendship, although other definitions of the word love may be applied to close friendships in certain contexts.

When discussed in the abstract, love usually refers to interpersonal love, an experience felt by a person for another person. Love often involves caring for or identifying with a person or thing, including oneself (cf. narcissism).

In addition to cross-cultural differences in understanding love, ideas about love have also changed greatly over time. Some historians date modern conceptions of romantic love to courtly Europe during or after the Middle Ages, although the prior existence of romantic attachments is attested by ancient love poetry.[5]

Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to The Beatles' "All you need is love." Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Theologian Thomas Jay Oord said that to love is to "act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others, to promote overall well-being."

Love at first site!

Before I start telling you my story, I would like to tell you that I believe in love at first sight. It happened to me and I am sure it has happened to a lot of other people. One day, after finishing from work I went to catch the bus home as I usually did. I sat down and opposite me there was this incredible guy looking at me. Our eyes met and it was like our souls joined. We couldn't stop looking at each other. I knew deep down inside that he was the one for me. After a while, I got the giggles and he gave me the most incredible smile. It took my breath away. I felt something I have never felt in my life before-- what I believe to be true love. For my whole trip home we kept on looking at each other. I was a bit shy, so I kept looking away. When I got off the bus, I felt this emptiness inside. As the bus drove past me, he looked at me and smiled. It took my breath away and I felt that we were destined to be together. When I got home, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

A week passed and I still remembered the way our eyes joined and the incredible smile he gave me. I went to the same bus stop praying I would see him again. No luck, he wasn't there. A week later I got on to the bus sat down then after five minutes someone came and sat next to me. When I looked, I realized that it was him. We both smiled at each other like we were so happy to see each other again. When we started to talk we became even more fascinated about each other. He offered to take me to the theatre to see a play and I said, "Yes, I would love to." It turned out perfectly, we both had a lot of fun and it seemed we were soul mates. We kept on arranging to go out with each other. After four months, we realized we were madly in love with each other. He told me he came to that bus stop the next day hoping he would see me again. We are now in love and happily married with one beautiful child. Story from lovetrace.com

About Love

Love is any of a number of emotions and experiences related to a sense of strong affection.[1] The word love can refer to a variety of different feelings, states, and attitudes, ranging from generic pleasure ("I loved that meal") to intense interpersonal attraction ("I love my girlfriend"). This diversity of meanings, combined with the complexity of the feelings involved, makes love unusually difficult to consistently define, even compared to other emotional states.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.

I knew i loved you

Maybe it's intuition But some things you just don't question Like in your eyes I see my future in an instant and there it goes I think I've found my best friend I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe [chorus:] I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into life I knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life There's just no rhyme or reason only this sense of completion and in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching for I think I found my way home I know that it might sound more than a little crazy but I believe [repeat chorus] A thousand angels dance around you I am complete now that I found you [repeat chorus]

Love

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.

~ Unknown ~

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Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

~ Unknown ~

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It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and an day to love someone... but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

~ Unknown ~

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It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy with someone else, but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

~ Unknown ~

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If love is the answer, can you please repeat the question?

~ Unknown ~

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Faith makes all things possible. Love makes them easy.

~ Unknown

I believe that to truly Love, is the ultimate expression of the will to live. A heart that truly loves is forever young.

~ Unknown ~

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Love makes life so confusing, but without love would you really want to live?

~ Unknown ~

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Do you love me because I am beautiful or am I beautiful because I am loved?

~ Unknown ~

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Love me now, love me never, but if you love me, love me forever.

~ Unknown ~

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Three things of life that are most valuable - Love, self-confidence & friends.

~ Unknown ~

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To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.

~ Unknown ~

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Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.

~ Unknown ~

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Who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying, is exactly the one making you cry?

~ Unknown ~

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He taught me how to love, but not how to stop.

~ Unknown ~

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Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.

~ Unknown ~

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We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

~ Unknown ~

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Many a young lady does not realize just how strong her love for a young man is until he fails to pass the approval test with her parents.

~ Unknown ~

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Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.

~ Unknown ~

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Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says 'For the woman I love' and the second, 'For my best friend.'

~ Unknown ~

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A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.

~ Unknown ~

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No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

~ Unknown ~

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Love, true love, is that which can give the most without asking or demanding anything in return.

~ Mazie Hammond ~

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Where there is love, there is God also.

~ Leo Tolstoy ~

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All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.

~ Leo Tolstoy ~

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Love cures people -- both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it.

~ Dr. Karl énage ~

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One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love.

~ Sophocles ~

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It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.

~ Khalil Gibran ~

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When they asked me what I loved most about life, I smiled and said you.

~ Tina ~

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Just because you know someone doesn't mean you love them, and just because you don't know people doesn't mean you can't love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a heartbeat, if God planned that route for you. So open your heart to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw that pass at you.

~ Heather Grove ~

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Love... What is love? Love is to love someone for who they are, who they were, and who they will be.

~ Chris Moore ~

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Why do you say you love me, if you are only going to leave me?

~ Julia ~

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Love is like a river, always changing, but always finding you again somewhere down the road.

~ Kelly Elaine ~

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Love is a language spoken by everyone, but understood only by a heart.

~ Shirley Rindani ~

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People need love even when they don't deserve it.

~ Nikki Ledbetter ~

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For every word you say, another piece of my heart you take.

~ Tiara Johnson ~

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Maybe God put a few bad people in your life, so when the right one came along you'd be thankful.

~ Andrea Kiefer ~

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Love the heart that hurts you, But never hurt the heart that loves you.

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Love me for a reason, let the reason be love.

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It doesn't take a reason to love someone, but it does to like someone. You don't love someone because you want to, you love someone because you are destined too. It's because you fall in Love with them, that you then try to find a reason, but you always come up with the answer, No reason!

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Love is the beginning of all the joy which nature has store for us.

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Never say goodbye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel you can take it. Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go.

~ Dons ~

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Say I love you and mean it, don't just say it cause you can.